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Prophetic
and
Practical
Teaching
for 21st
Century
Warriors
and
Practical
Teaching
for 21st
Century
Warriors
August 2005 Honor Your Father and Mother Children, obey your parents in the Lord;for this is right. ” Honor your father and mother”—this is the first commandment with a promise: “so that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” Ephesians 6:1-2 Whenever I notice that God has said something more than once in the Bible, I pay extra special attention to that statement. Obviously, if He felt it necessary to repeat Himself, He knew ahead of time that we would have a lot of problem understanding and/or applying what He had to say. When there is a principle or commandment that He knows we will stumble over or forget, He places regular reminders for us throughout His Word. This statement about honoring our parents is one of those repeated instructions. One would think that it’s a “no brainer” to have respect for your parents. They clothed you, fed you, made sure you got an education, and took you to the doctor when you got sick. Now you are an adult, on your own, living out your life upon the foundation of what they instilled in you. Those statements describe perhaps 1/10 of the reality in this nation. The truth is most of us have been mistreated, ignored, or disappointed by our parents. Divorce, child beating, incest, endangerment through drug abuse, cruelty, rejection, abandonment, verbal abuse, poor parenting and neglect are rampant. When our parents have deeply hurt us, scarred our lives with abuse, or severely disappointed us, how are we suppose to apply God’s directions to honor our parents? Certainly there must be an escape clause for those who had stupid or downright rotten parents? Unfortunately, not. There is no escaping the clarity of God’s Word on this issue. He says in Exodus 20:12 “Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you. “ Then the commandment is repeated in. Deuteronomy 5:16 “Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God commanded you, so that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.” Not only that, there are instructions given to children that we have a religious duty to our own family… Honor widows who are really widows. If a widow has children or grandchildren, they should first learn their religious duty to their own family and make some repayment to their parents; for this is pleasing in God’s sight. 1 Timothy 5:3 And, the Lord uses Paul in the book of Romans to put the final note on the whole issue by saying that we need to bless those who persecute us. Bless and do not curse them: Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor. Do not lag in zeal, be ardent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints; extend hospitality to strangers. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly; £ do not claim to be wiser than you are. Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Romans 12:9-18 Having read all that and also what Jesus says in Mark Chapter 7: For Moses said, “Honor your father and your mother'; and, ‘Whoever speaks evil of father or mother must surely die.’ But you say that if anyone tells father or mother, ‘Whatever support you might have had from me is Corban’ (that is, an offering to God£)—then you no longer permit doing anything for a father or mother, thus making void the word of God through your tradition that you have handed on. And you do many things like this.” Mark 7:10-13 We simply have no excuse to not know that we should be honoring our parents even if they are awful people. The problem we run into with this command is we confuse the word honor with human love and emotion. Honor is an action, not an emotion. We are asked by God to choose to honor the position our parents hold in our lives and to respect and pay tribute to that position despite what we think of the parent or whether or not that parent deserves the respect. If a father beats his child, berates them and throws them out of the house, that child does not need to try to develop a loving relationship with that parent. It may not be healthy for the child to be anywhere near their father. But, God expects us to still honor that parent and forgive them for what they have done and release them to His care in prayer. If at all possible we are to be the peacemakers. If a parent will make peace with us we are to respect and honor them and be at peace with them. If the parent remains violent and will not accept the peace we offer, we are instructed to take back our peace from that household, shake off the dust and go on with our lives. Shaking the dust off means we forgive. Then we let go of the memories and pain associated with hurtful situations, receive healing for our wounded hearts from the Lord and go on to lead productive lives in Him. We also do not curse or berate that parent by constantly repeating how badly they treated us. Instead, we are to pray for parents who hurt us. The parent child relationship may never be what we hoped it would be. We may never have a loving relationship with our parent, but we can be at peace with God and them. Who knows but the prayers we pray for a difficult or even a wicked parent , may result in their salvation. I know a woman who was in a bad situation with her father for 10 years then estranged from him for over 20 years. Her father was selfish and had hurt her mother and the other children very badly. He had a wicked temper and would yell, kick things, and slap the children. He would wickedly tease and torment her and her siblings. They all hated him. Then she met the Lord Jesus Christ and received Him as her Savior. She still carried a hate for her father and had never forgiven him for how awful he was during her childhood. She never wanted to see her Dad again. And, she voiced her disgust and hatred for him often. Who could blame her? He was a horrible father. While reading the Bible she found the Scripture in Ephesians stating that she should honor her parents so that it may we well with her. All these years she had ignored, hated, and berated her father. She reminded her mother and her siblings regularly what a jerk her Dad had been. Every time the family got together the conversation inevitably turned to remembering all the bad times and awful things the father had done. Each in turn would remember and call the man awful names. After 20 years of rehersing the memories, the wounds were still fresh and raw. This woman thought, no way can I honor a man who has hurt me so much and hurt my family. But, the words “so that it may be well with you” kept repeating in her mind. Am I well? She asked herself. Not really was the answer. She realized that her father lived a happy life, retired and doing well. She wasn’t at all doing well. She was vehemently bitter and vengeful. She still cried when thinking about her lost childhood and all the hurtful events. Her health was suffering and she wasn’t sleeping very well. She also admitted that she had a difficult time trusting God because she blamed Him for giving her a mean earthly father. “Honor your father and mother so that it may be well with you” echoed over and over in her mind for over a week. Finally, she simply said: “Lord God, I have an awful earthly father. He was mean and wicked and hurt me deeply. But, I choose to forgive him and I release him to Your care. I let go of all the hurt and pain my father caused me and I give it all to You Lord. I let go of all of the memories and I choose to remember them no more. Help me to forgive and forget. Thank you Lord for forgiving me for being so vengeful, unforgiving and bitter. I pray that you bless my father and that you bless me, in Jesus’ name, Amen.” After that prayer she felt 1,000 pounds lighter. She slept well that night and awoke feeling like a new person. She kept praying for her father asking God to change him and heal his wounded heart. For surely he needed healing after all the mean things he had done. Several months went by and low and behold, her father called her. He was worried about her because he’d heard there had been an earthquake close by. This woman was so amazed. Her father had not cared about her or asked how she was for close to 30 years. That conversation made way for more talks, then visits. Though her father will never be what she dreamed a father would be, she is at peace with him. She has forgiven and remembers the hurts no more. She honored her father, first by forgiving him. She never spoke to him about the forgiveness, she just did it and God took care of the rest. And then she honored her father by receiving the peace offered to her when the Holy Spirit prompted him to call. Now, it is well with her, her father is seeing and hearing her witness and God is pleased. If you have a chip on your shoulder, a deep wound or you are just plain mad at a parent or parents, realize right now that you are in sin. It is time for the action of honor. Honor your parents by forgiving them. I guarantee you that when you do, it will be well with you! Shalom, Cheryl |
Cheryl Birch Ministries, Inc.
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